the early bird gets the worm. and then the worm in turn gets it.

The other night Greg came back from walking Porter and said, “Wow, something totally weird just happened. This girl stopped me and said, ‘Oh I recognize your dog from your blog!'” Apparently this gal Googled “Passyunk Square” and our blog came up, and she started reading it. So we actually have a reader that neither of us are related to, yay!! Which of course means damn, I need to get on the stick about updating this dusty old blog.

Our most recent adventure was one that I should’ve taken photos of, but I was a little too grossed out to think about documenting it for posterity, and you’ll probably thank me. A couple of weeks ago, I woke on Sunday morning and stumbled into the bathroom half asleep to find two tiny worms in the soap dish. I rubbed my eyes and looked around only to find about a dozen more – on the sink, on the floor, in the tub – everywhere! I yelled in to Greg (who, by the way, had just come from the bathroom himself and made no comment) to come look at my gruesome discovery. He responded, “Huh, that’s weird,” and left the room.

After squashing all the worms I examined the room, trying to figure out where they were coming from. I Googled “worms in bathroom” and found a bunch of articles about drain flies, these little flies that live off the gunk in your drains and hatch into flies. Ok, they’re coming out of the drains, that I can handle. I went to the store and picked up some Drano and we commenced with cleaning out the disgusting drains that really should have been cleaned months ago.

You have to understand that the bathroom is one of the (many) rooms that I try to pretend doesn’t exist. The m.o. is go in, do your business, maybe shower, and get the hell out of there. The room needs to be redone in a major way, but we’re just not ready for that quite yet. So bottom line, finding out that things were hatching in the drains was sort of like *finally* getting a notice for your overdue library book – you knew it was coming, you’re not really all that surprised, and mainly you’re just embarrassed that you waited til that point to return it.

After Drano and several batches of boiling water, the number of worms we were finding was greatly reduced, but they were definitely still appearing. The coast would be clear, you’d leave the room for two minutes, go back and and find one on the counter. I just couldn’t figure out how they were moving so fast behind my back. Then at about 11pm I was brushing my teeth and it happened – one fell out of a crack in the ceiling paneling and landed on the sink. We’re gonna need a bigger boat.

So I got Greg out of bed and he donned a face mask and goggles and got to work prying open the ceiling panels. Meanwhile I went on and on about how we would probably have to gut the bathroom immediately to get to the root of the problem, and then find a contractor to fix it ASAP and wah wah wah cry cry cry. After about an hour of poking around up there with (luckily) no big results – I think both of us were half expecting a huge pile of worms to fall out onto his face – we decided to give up for the night and call an exterminator in the morning.

I found someone to come out that afternoon, and of course by the time he got there, the worms seemed to have disappeared. I ran him through a few scenarios – we just got the stack replaced, maybe something crawled out of there, the drain fly thing, the leaky roof. Then we came up with what he considered the most probable situation, and possibly the grossest. I told him that we had the roof fixed the week before, and that birds had been getting in under the eaves. When they fixed the roof we’re pretty sure they closed in a nest, or at least one bird, in the wall above the bathroom. When I told him that he immediately smiled and nodded and said, “Yep, that’s it.” They were maggots. Maggots coming from the dead bird in our celing. Does it get any more disgusting than that?

The upside is that he said once they were done feasting on the bird carcass, they’d just die off, leaving a tiny bird skeleton entombed somewhere in the wall. He sprayed up into the ceiling as best he could, and climbed out on the roof to fully seal up the remaining space where birds could potentially still get in. And, knock wood, we haven’t seen any since then – that was last Monday.

So the moral of the story is…ummm….I don’t know. Birds are a pain in the ass?

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2 thoughts on “the early bird gets the worm. and then the worm in turn gets it.

  1. Kate says:

    Hi, it’s your non-family fan. Thanks for this funny/revolting start to my day. I hope my park introduction wasn’t too creepy. I have a google alert for “Passyunk” and own a home in the area. Thanks for keeping me motivated. Nice to meet your family.

  2. leann gorman wood says:

    wow that is one gross story. at least you don’t have to renovate right away. and this just proves my theory that birds are a total waste

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